Summer is a time for reconnecting with family and friends, slowing down the pace a little and taking a break from some of our stressors. While this sounds easy, it can often lead to a sense of overwhelm with all the planning and organizing that Mamas put into SUMMER FUN! When we say YES, to all the requests and invitations, very quickly we can pack our schedules and loose sense of our true joy in a frenzy of overwhelm.
In order to find our TRUE JOY, we need to say ‘NO’ to some things. Why is it so hard to say ‘NO’? Both of us would describe ourselves as recovering people pleasers…. Mamas who truly believed they could do it all! With every yes we said, to join the committee, bake for the bake sale, carpool, party plan, work, run a small business, volunteer, go for coffee, be a good friend, wife….ETC., we found (more than once) it just lead us to burnout, exhaustion, hot mama messes who really lost their JOY.
A huge game changer for us was this past fall when we attended a retreat, ‘The Daring Way’ (http://thedaringway.com) through a local facilitator. Here we really examined the why of our people pleasing ways. The deep roots of wanting to be liked by people and worthy. This workshop is based on the AMAZING work of Brene Brown (http://brenebrown.com/). Brene often talks about choosing discomfort in saying ‘NO’, over the resentment that comes in saying YES, when it really doesn’t fit for you or comes at a cost to you. If you haven’t checked out her work- we HIGHLY recommend ya do!
The most helpful part of this retreat was identifying our core values and beliefs and being encouraged to let them drive our YES answers and ‘NO’ answers….
Mel’s Core Values:
Making a Difference
Missy’s Core Values:
Big Love ( for self, family & others)
When we really evaluated what was important it seemed easier to say YES or ‘NO’. If it doesn’t fit the values…sorry….but wait it is still hard and we work at it each day and catch ourselves when we have given away to many YES’s.
So our challenge to you this week is:
Say NO- to at least 3 things.
Leave space in your schedule for rest, play and maybe even spontaneity. Really evaluate and write down what is REALLY important to YOU and reflect “are the yes & no’s I am giving aligning with this?” Be gentle with yourself, this is soul work for sure!
We have compiled an amazing list of 5 prompts and phrases to help ya with ‘NO’. If ya want a PDF copy to print, drop us a line at- firstname.lastname@example.org or DM us on Instagram (@thejoyfullifeco) and we will send it your way! Sometimes we need some words to back us up!
We are here with ya MAMAS, in the heat of this MAMAHOOD in a real way! Feel free to reach out and connect! We will be cheering ya on in setting those boundaries!
Good Luck & Take Good Care
XO Missy + Mel